This is a good companion piece to Desiderata...
The Awakening
By Sonny Carroll
There comes a time in your life when
you finally get it ...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks
and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough
fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting
down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or
twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin
to look at the world from a new perspective.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or
someone, to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always
fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is
born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather
than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much
of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a
result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a
lifetime.
And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:- how
you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car your should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in.
And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have
practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love,
appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are
entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact
that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect
human being for that matter... and you stop trying to compete with the image
inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look
at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same
unconditional love and support you give so freely to others.
Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry
for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and
admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover
that "it is truly in giving that we receive [1] and that the joy and
abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of
"creating" & "contributing" rather than
"obtaining" & "accumulating."
And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that
millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator,
clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity
to pursue your own dreams.
And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in
self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional
relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and
exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and
creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food
is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a
point to create time for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in
love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands
of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You
learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally
or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through and
interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and
pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you
or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to
acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy
and resentment.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human
frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing
power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a
friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that
are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at
smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of
entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect
certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with
confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you
learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of
setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all
the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just
need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would
want them to be and you are careful not to project your neediness or
insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more
beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on
your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow
and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can
always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your
worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's
wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to
serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards
and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is
the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn
what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and
outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and
you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and
"on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling
love you will ever know. Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through
understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop
wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You
learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve
to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or
should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you
begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a
personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need
to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of
action to see things through.
You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think
you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn
to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things
are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing
you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll
learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is
the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. So you learn to step right
into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the
right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a
self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to
squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending
doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings
and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own
personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by
yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never
ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of power is born of
self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that
these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar
that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you
make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every
wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime
outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand,
you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best as you can.
A word about the Power of Prayer:
In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not
for the answers to my prayers or for material things, but for my
"God" to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to
persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.
Remember this:-
You are an expression of the almighty.
The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you.
Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.
My "God" has never failed me.
Copyright © 2001 Sonny Carroll. All Rights Reserved
Comments:
I see no reason to FAKE a deep breath... but if that is where you need to start... it's a start.
You learn about money... What I have learned is that money does not buy happiness, but it does provide a good down payment. A lack of money can certainly breed challenges. Yet in learning about money, learn that if the worst of your problems is a lack of money, life could be a whole lot worse.
Love people... use things.
There is no wrong in doing right.
Trust must be earned, as should friendship.
Create a great day... it is up to you.
Dr. W.
